Sorry you're feeling so down on yourself Lindee. You are worth more then you realise. There are people around you that love you, please try and hold onto that truth instead of listening to the lies in your own mind. You are never a waste of bone and flesh. We are so often our own worst enemy and despite what we know is good for us, we take the alternate path of self destruction.

Have you talked about your feelings of rage with your T? I have frequent periods where I feel a rage inside that's directed at myself. It also feels like I'm going to implode. Maybe there are things that sub-consciously trigger these emotions. You could maybe explore this with your T?

Please try to take of yourself and post when you feel alone and have these feelings. It's not good to keep it all inside. I've found it really does help to know that people on PC will be there to encourage and support. Even though we may no know you personally, we can empathise with you and genuinely do care.