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But I should probably look into some counseling now... but I don't know, I don't really want my parents involved in all that. Is there anything that provides anonymity for minors?
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I'm sorry that I don't know about anything anonymity for minors. They might know or have some ideas at RAINN though.
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As it stands right now, my oldest brother is their little angel whereas I'm the "spoiled" and "self-centered" brat. Seriously! My mom's talking about me behind my back to her friends again.
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I can certainly see why you would resent, indeed be furious about, the situation that you describe. Can you say more about your mom talking about you behind your back?
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I've been trying to land part-time work to help finances around the house (and finally did at my school)
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Hey, good for you!
Congratulations!
I've been meaning to ask about your fears of going out. You are going to school, right? How are you doing otherwise with these fears?
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but, uh, you know, I'm still self-centered (she only works part-time, and J., who is 19, doesn't work at all!).
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I'm glad that you can say these things here. You are fed up with the seeming preferential treatment that the boys get, and with the lack of appreciation for your contributions. Do you feel that your family takes you for granted?
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I wish she would bring up any issues she has with me to my face instead of just making up lies about me.
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What is she saying?
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She's very angry that I want to move out and can't seem to understand why I'd ever want to leave.
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Some of this "comes with the territory", if you will. Parents often have trouble "releasing" kids. It sounds like you feel that she is going overboard though.
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She even told me that she expects me to come visit every weekend when I'm in college.
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Hey, look on the bright side--she at least realizes the strong possibility that you won't be
living at home!
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I think it's funny how she pretends that she's helped me through this college application process when, in reality, she showed absolutely no interest in my schoolwork for all these years. The only thing she cares about is if I go to a local college and live at home.
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You strongly resent the way she is treating you and viewing your college process. What are the chances of having a reasonable discussion of your feelings about these things (again?) with her?
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I feel stupid for having even talked to her about any of this. She obviously hasn't heard a single thing I've said. 
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Maybe you just ansered my question. when you say "any of this", do you mean college or do you mean the abuse?
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But... your right. I just need to try and understand where my parents are coming from. I think I've been acting out more than usual lately just because I strongly resent my oldest brother for turning his life around... That's so terrible, isn't it? It kinda is...
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I might have mentioned that I listen on a crisis/suicide hotline. I've heard from a number of adult women that a brother abused them sexually and went on to a successful, prestigious life as a doctor, etc. while they were left with overwhelming feelings of shame, feelings of abandonment, failure and underachievement. The brothers still refuses to apologize or "take the blame for your failures", as one brother put it, and the surviving parents did not, and still do not, help the abused women. The women deeply resent the brothers as well as their success in life, and I think that is normal and understandable. It is execrable when a sexual abuser finds success and support while the victim gets little or nothing.
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I think something I need to learn is that I shouldn't be so upset if my parents act "in character," even if it hurts me. They have their inner-demons, ...
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I would put it a little differently, tell me what you think: I think that it is ok to be upset, very upset. I think that emotions are normal and largely beyond one's control, especially emotions arising from trauma such as sexual abuse. As I see it, the question is: what happens with those emotions? Can one learn to live with them? Can one learn to dissipate them in healthy ways--such as with a therapist, online, in a journal, through various previously thought out ways to self-soothe (listening to music, exercise, etc.: I could write more about this if that would help you)? Or must those emotions find expression in harmful ways, such as crime, depression, substance abuse, disordered eating, self-injury, suicidal ideation?
In my own case, for example, I am still hurt and disgusted about the way my mother acted. But I've found ways--such as volunteering, learning about therapy, playing an instrument, kindness to others--to be able to accept those feelings and indeed put them to good use in trying to help others. And, over time, those feelings have lessened, and healing has occurred.
Are there other burdens on your mind and heart that you could share here? Do you feel shame, embarrassment, self-loathing over anything else that you want to reveal but feel too ashamed to say? If so, I am and will be still ready to listen and to give you empathy and unconditional acceptance.