I have been in therapy for 7 years. During that time, I have left messages stating that T didn't need to call me back. Once a year or so, I leave a message asking T to return my call and he has. I saw him on Monday. On Tuesday, I was having a hard time. Knowing that he does not like do therapy over the phone, I asked him if I could see him again on Tuesday. Since it is something that he normally does not do, I asked him to call me back and give me his thoughts on me coming in again that day. He has not called me back.

Before the holiday break, we had a difficult session when he indicated that he saw a distructive pattern whereby I was exercising a lot of control and he wanted me to be more open and less contained. I already thought that I was being open but apparently he did not. So in our session on Monday, he stated that he wanted us to work collaboratively and that I needed to tell him what was happening with me instead of minimizing it. He has started to take a tougher approach with me.

If I call and cancel my sessions T will think that I am acting out instead of realizing that I am reacting to him not returning my call. How can I be more open with someone who did not return my call during my time of need? I am too embarrassed to show up because I feel like I sounded so desparate on the phone when I called him on Tuesday.

I feel like I have made a lot of progress over the past year and was really hoping to get past a few hurdles and finish our work. I don't know that I can now. I feel like such a baby.