I do agree. In my head at least. Right now I am worried about getting tested. For disease I mean. I'm pretty sure everything is ok, but there were times when I was so far gone; well, you know. I'm just scared. I went so long trying to destroy myself and now I'm here hoping I didn't get what I wished for then. I don't even know where to begin (to get tested). Right now I'm in a "no news is good news" pattern. that won't fly any longer.