Hi LMo,
I'm sorry you have had so much to deal with right now. I'm trying to prepare for a trip, too, so I know about all those last minute things. And having a guest at the same time? Ugh.

I also know what it's like to be the depressed person in a marriage, and my husband has said similar things and I would bet feels similar feelings as you. At one point, when he expressed frustration and was down on himself for not being able to help me enough, I suggested he start therapy to get his own support, because I was not able to provide enough support for him. It took him awhile to go, and it's weird for me to know that he pretty much talks about me and my stuff, but he said it is helping him to feel supported and to understand me a bit better.

It sounds like you really do a lot of self-care, and that's great, but I totally get the "when is it time for me?" issue. If you don't already, perhaps a short term bout of therapy for you might help?

And I hope hugs help....

((((JMo)))))

gg