Has a court ruled on the custody, visitation and support issues? Are you in therapy? Custody has to do with the best interests of the children. If you and your therapist work on a plan to show a court you are capable of being a more effective parent you may have a chance.

If there have been no divorce decree or custody, visitation and support order, you likely will need to retain a lawyer. Look in the yellow pages under attorneys for the number of the state bar association. Find out if you are entitled to a reduced fee or pro bono attorney.

In the mean time, remember to send cards and letters to your children, and try to get some visitation and phone calls with them. Document your efforts to stay in contact with your children. Try to be detailed in documenting the times the father has not allowed you to write, call or visit your children. Write down how he tries to blackmail and abuse you. It is particularly important to notate whether you believe he has been drinking when you talk to him. Each entry should have a time and date.

Good luck.