You seem like a sincerely nice guy and like you want very much to overcome your social anxiety. Have you tried counseling or working with a psychiatrist who might be able to use a combination of talk therapy, role plays (to learn and practice social skills as well as perhaps de-sensitizing you to some social stress), as well as medication - if indicated - to help lower your anxiety enough for you to take the first steps toward connecting with other people.

You're very brave to be willing to confront your fear and move toward something that you know matters to you. Please let us know how things are going.