I've been in therapy dealing with my past on and off for over 20 years. It hasn't been on hold. Quite the opposite. It has often taken over my life. Right now, the past has nothing to do with what is going on, but I've made a connection between my past and the present that is, quite frankly, unfair to my son. It is a completely irrational connection. I know that, but still I am letting it be a problem that is interfering with my ability to be fair, supportive, and helpful to my son. I have to break that connection and be the mother I know I can be. Focusing on the crap from the past is only making me crazy. I don't have the choice to be crazy right now. Actually, I do have the choice, but who would make that choice if the alternative is standing strong, with my son, dealing with our reality?

I have to use the skills I have learned to get a handle on my reactions to what is happening and deal with the problem rationally. I have to be the grown up here. If I choose to wallow in the past (once again) when it isn't relavent to what is happening, I will suffer, my family will suffer, and my son will suffer. What way do I want this to go? It IS my choice.