WARNING: THIS IS ONLY A JOKE
(... I'M JUST PLAYING AROUND .... ASK BPTOO .... HE'LL TELL YA I'M A REAL KIDDER .... HONEST)

Aaarrrggh! I got tricked into clicking to a touchy-feely chick website!


Emotions?! Eeeuuueeeww! Get'em off me! Get 'em off! Hep me! Hep me!


Yeah, youse guys are just like my wife, the other night she says; "Let's rent a movie .... what do you want to see?"


I answer, "Well, we still haven't seen "Reservoir Dogs" yet, and I haven't seen Polanski's "The Fearless Vampire Killers" in a long time......


Then my wife says, "I'll just look and see what they have." Then she comes home with DVDs, two that our 8 yr old daughter picked out, "The Princess Diaries" and "Lizzy McGuire - The Movie". Ya know what these innocent little pieces of flat, circular plastic really are?! They're "Chik-Flik" training films!
[crazier]

Oh, my wife did bring home movies for us, "Moulin Rouge" and "Tess". Throughout "Moulin Rouge" I kept thinking that the movie would've been much better if it was directed by directed by Jonathan Demme or John Waters ..... (perhaps Roman Polanski?, ..... or even Salvador Dali?) Anyway, I don't know what happened in the movie 'cause I fell asleep aboot 15 minutes in.


So, after the first movie my wife makes me get off the sofa and get into bed. That's another thing I don't understand; how come you ladies wake us up and tell us to go to bed? I was sleepin' already?! Wudja wake me for?!


And if I dare have the gaul (or a moist enough mouth) to ask my wife why I had to sleep in bed, she says somethin' like, "Because tomorrow I don't want to have to listen to you complain about how much your back hurts because you slept on the couch."


What can I say besides, "...... oh, ........ yeah. .....".


Where was I?? ...... Oh ya! .... Man-o-man Serenity, ya gotta add a warning when you go postin' the URLs to sites like that. A guy could actually have a feeling if he stayed on those types of sites too long; that can't happen; it's not allowed! A guy could lose an eye ...... or he could get a certain site-specific atrophy ..... or somethin'!


For guys, you know, REAL GUYS! ....... harroooccckk ....... sbitttoo ...... like bptoo and me , chick-sites are dangerous. It's sorta like running with scizzors, or takin' the rubber suction cups off of the arrows when playin' "C'wboys and Injins".


Ya know, I heard that iffin a guy watches too many chik-fliks, that he could go blind .... uh huh ..... that's what this guy said and I think it was his doctor that told him that .... or was it a scientist? .... those guys are so smart .... they know evrythin' 'bout evrythin' ..... 'cept about some tings they know nuthin' 'bout nuthin' ..... yup ..... thas rite .... uh huh ......


Oh, and get this, t'nite she says let's watch "Tess", it was done by Polanski." I say, "Okay, that should be cool." .......


...... MISSSSTTTAKE!!!! ....... A Polanski Chik-Flik! .... who'da thunk it? ......


You know, my psychologist says that I have to open up, let my feelings out ...... it's a plot I tell ya ...... women are planning (their probably making lists right now) to take over the world! Thank god they can't read a map! ........


- Love Cam

Okay, my fun is over. I was just in one of those moods and my fingers just kept typing. Hey, they won't stop! ..... Someone detach the keyboard from the computer ..... no, that's the mouse outlet ..... the other one ..... tha ..........

Photo of Cam in his present state of mind.