(((( Fox ))))
I find 'the lose your mind' thing is what I call switching. It is like there is an internal drain and all energy to cope goes and what is left is a little person who cannot manage, at least that is what it looks like externally, we not sure.
Flexible jobs seem to work here too but the transitions are killing us. I did go back to school for graphics for web design but have not found employment in this area, as yet. It became so discouraging but we keep working elsehwere, frustrating but food, shelter, clothing!
Becoming a recluse is all too possible for ones who are like us. Thankfully there is PC but we need in real life people too who care about us and we care about when we work.
I love what you said here:
"I exert a lot of energy with internal battles that I'm not aware of I just feel my energy being drained and I know something big's going on."
...because we agree!
Energy to work full time is a problem and as we age it is getting worse, the will to go forward is diminishing, what's that about?
Well, still there is some optimism, less depression, it seems our general nature, if you took all the alters, and lumped them together but we struggle internally and especially when we are in the counselling season. That is why we appreciate the break but can't seem to go longer than about 5 weeks max, without the appointments with our therapist! Then the headaches come, the internal battles abound even more and we are like in a roller coaster of emotion.
It has gotten better in some ways...when we were younger we took off several times and wound up in places that were NOT okay for us. So, at least we are glad of this that it seems not to be happening b/c of our co-consiousness.
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Thanks Fox, we hope we get lots of responses from other workers.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fox
I do fine with work for a few months at a time too. But I can't stick with the same job or I lose my mind. I'm very fortunate that I've been able to find flexible jobs that are willing to move me around to different departments or positions. Money is really tight right now with my new job since I ran out of stuff to try at the hospital that doesn't require extra schooling. Logically I know I have to keep working because it's good for me and keeps me from becoming a total recluse. But it's a real struggle too. I don't have the energy to work full-time. I exert a lot of energy with internal battles that I'm not aware of I just feel my energy being drained and I know something big's going on. Usually about that time is when I "wake up" somewhere else and not sure how I got there lol. I hope others have some helpful advice since I'm going through a similar fight as you. We're not just fighting depression but fighting ourselves. It's like a double blow.
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