I'm so tired of going through all this. Everythime I talk to him I get really depressed afterwards. I know it's not my fault but I still feel like it is. He's the abuser. But it's hard to deal with knowing that it's my son. I just wish once he would show that he cares. I love him so much and hate having to have him locked up but I know that if I didn't he would kill me. How do I deal with this? Sometimes I just wish that I didn't hear from him. Does that make me a bad Mom? I'm sorry I needed to let some of this out.