I got some really bad news yesterday. One of my biggest supports is leaving the program I have been in for 5 years. I have worked closely with her for 5 years and she is even bigger suport than my T is. And she didn't tell me privately, just announced in front of our whole group with lots of time left for me to sit and painfully hold in all my feelings. We often have met individually over the last 5 yrs. I see her much more often than T. She is like a second T to me and this loss is unbelievably hard to even think about. Now I feel so sad, so incredibly sad! I am seeing her one last time next week to wrap things up between us. I'm going to have to pretend that I'm happy for her and that I'll be okay because if i don't, she will still leave but then will have bad feelings about me. I want her to feel good feelings about me. people always move on in life. Everyone does. I am the only person who does not move on and let go. Well, yes I move on because I happen to continue breathing due to my damn autonomic nervous system! I don't know how I am going to make it through.