Hello & Welcome, Hopeisntlost86! I think you're in the right place - or places; various forums here cater to the different sides of our struggles.

Yes, the alcohol could be self-medication for the depression. It may be useful to consider your situation in the larger context of your family, for depression in one individual can reflect the stresses or dysfunctions of a group. And, of course, there's my "hobby horse": just because you're depressed doesn't mean all your symptoms must be due to the depression - you could have a physical problem.

I hope you have or can get access to the health care you need - physical workups, psychiatric assessments, therapy, etc. Regardless, here you are in a safe place; here venting is welcome - YOU are welcome.