Myzen,

I am so glad to hear that "the work I have struggled to take out of my loving relationships over the last 20 years is CONTROL". That is one of the issues that has torn my marriage apart after 30 years....it was silent control or as my psychologists have described him as passive agressive. He knew way back at the beginning that his method didn't work with me & was always a point of problems.....but he didn't want to be any different than he was because he thought he was perfect & had no room for improvement.

It makes me feel good to hear someone actually "struggle" to make himself a better person & work on an area that is a problem.....Your wife is very lucky to have someone that is willing to work on a relatioship.....you should be very proud of yourself to be able to grow & make changes to things that don't work in your life.

I think that has been a problem because when I see a problem that seems to come from me (my personality, thoughts), I try to analize the situation & myself to see what I need to do to fix it.

Glad you are working on improvements,
Debbie