So I dont know where to go or begin. I've been dealing with an on going battle with depression since I was 16 and I will be 24 in less than 2 weeks. My parents just recently started to notice that I've been acting "like a zombie" and what not. I haven't been eating, I either DONT sleep, and will be up for hours on end OR sleep all day (as I did yesterday). I quit my job - without even letting my JOB know....and I've gotten to the point where I dont wanna go on anymore. My strength: My siblings.

I suppose my parents which are my dad, stepmom and mom dont want to hear that their oldest child/only child have a depression and anxiety disorder. I've been fighting this long battle...almost a war for almost 8 years now. I feel like the other team, is winning and Im losing....whoever that other team is. :P

I've been abusing alcohol because whenever I drink, it takes everything away. And this isn't like regular 24 year old drinking. This is whenever I can get my filthy little paws on it. Morning, day, night. I'll drink and I wont eat.

I think the hardest part of all this is admitting, especially to the people I love that I have this problem. I felt like I was giving subtle hints for help, I told my stepmom I was vaguely suicidal and everyone just ignored my cries for help. Until yesterday. Now that Im starting to come to terms with this, Im looking for other people, maybe about my age, who I can talk to and have a support group. This has been an ongoing battle for me and Im ready for it to end.