Thanks to everyone for your insights....helpful as always....In answer to your query Parker, like many of us, I had a tough, life changing year with a marital separation that EVERYONE knew about......and talked about......and speculated about.....and now, I still feel some awkwardness (even though we're back together and much healthier for the time apart)......but that's the way it is in small communities....people have nothing else to do except speculate on the lives of others....I've never been in a position of public scrutiny before though I've lived here all my life....and its been tough....you wouldn't believe the rumors (as if the truth weren't ugly enough)....but hey, you're all right...there's no way through this but through this...and I'll make it.....thanks for the support....grace