Hey sad,
I am so sorry you are having a difficult time right now. I know I have read posts by you before but I don't know whether you are on the right meds for now or have a good dr., etc.. If not, of course, that would be the first step. When is the last time you had a job? Are you never feeling good or at peace or are you always sad and in the darkness or angry? I am not sure what the government's criteria is for helping out the mentally ill. Are you sure you are totally unable to work at all or it has been so long you are scared or not sure or what? Maybe if you started small you could work you way up to really supporting yourself even if on some days you have to take it 5 minutes at the time until time to go home like I do. If you are lucky you may find yourself working with others who learn to understand and know when to leave you alone and not ask anything of you. In my old dept I had that. In the new one only my boss knows but I will probably end up having to talk to them about it so they will not be offended on the days that I am having a bad episode and just can't talk. I hate to do it but it is a big part of who I am.
I wish the best for you. Take care of yourself above all and let us know how things go. We are pulling for you!