Thanks for your kind and thougthful response. What is holding me back is guilt and fear. I fear if I cut ties from him completely, he may do something crazy. He's already said if I stop seeing him or if I thought of being with another man, I would probably hear he died in his apartment because he wouldn't want to live without me. On the other hand, as I stated in another post, he said how he has had thoughts about us dying together. So I'm thinking even if I took him back who's to say that one day he might go over the edge and kill me? I don't think he would do it, but why does he talk about how nice it would be if he and I exited this world together?