"That a woman might stay with her batterer because she pities him and wants to rescue him from his demons was a new insight for me. But it makes sense: women are brought up to empathize with men, to be caregivers, to see themselves as wise and mature, and men as "little boys," as Steiner frequently describes Conor."

This is an excellent viewpoint on why women stay with abusive partners. We are indeed brought up to be nurturing, empathetic, and caretaking. By pitying men who are abusive, we certainly cast them in the role of "little boys," and thus make excuses for them like, "Oh, he has had an abusive family background himself and so therefore, he's not in full control of his behavior." The problem is this: knowing these things is fine and good, but getting the knowledge deep down into our hearts where hit hurts is another. We women who have been abused often times don't even trust our own feelings. We fear being alone, we fear staying, we fear being hurt or perhaps even killed by the man who's supposed to love us, yet we are frozen by pity, guilt, and fear. Being frozen this way doesn't allow us to move forward. Personally, I know I could just walk away but a voice deep inside me cries, "but if I leave him, he'll have an hard time without me. He needs me and if I stay, he might punch me again, pull out a knife again, kill me in my sleep one day." Today I didn't see him or call him. I feel good for that. I pray tomorrow I'll be strong again. A day at a time. Maybe I can do it.