Hi SevenMile and welcome to PC.
I'm sorry you are going through all that. Your counselor sounds like she is on your side and going to bat for you. Do you have to do the inpatient treatment? Can you just say no? They can't have you committed unless you are a danger, can they?
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But maybe it's ok, what they're doing?
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I think anytime something is done against the client's will, that it's not OK (unless there is danger). It sounds like they aren't listening to you or your counselor, who knows you well, so that doesn't seem OK at all. Do you think what they are doing is OK? I don't think an accurate diagnosis can be made unless they assess you in person.
What will happen if the appeal letter you and your counselor wrote is successful? Would it mean the agency will no longer recommend you have inpatient treatment? If the appeal is not successful, do you have to either have inpatient treatment or quit seeking services at the agency?
Is there any way you could continue seeing your counselor for therapy but not through the agency so you don't have to deal with them?