@ Sanity Seeker... I agree with you on all the points...Thanks for the support and just to add some more details...I feel that it isnt fair to be completely dependent on someone for protection and comfort and that is why I executed a strong exercise to develop new relationships... these relationships got blown up despite all the effort and the primary reason for this was lack of interest from the other side... I think it is common sense to assume that a friendship is never a one way street... the other party needs to communicate and express a desire to have contact which sadly has never happened for me...Hence, I have assumed that I need to play the game which everyone else in this society is playing... The game of 'Self Interest' for the record I hate such a game cos it is only about receiving and not giving but unfortunately when you live with people that have materialistic lust you have to mix with the crowd to survive...Sharing stuff with these people was no good since they never liked conversation and would only be interested if the talk was about work assignments or studies, the foreign exchange! Conversation about pain and worry was answered with mean insensitive comments about how whiney I am and how cowardly is my behaviour... I believe sharing your bleeding body is like inviting the lion for dinner where I come from... It's not a pessimistic ramble it is hard cruel experience... Now this lady was very maternal when I met her and I was really taken by her initial behaviour since then I have been doing all I can to ensure that I maintain contact cos I saw true concern for the first time... I was an intern and all interns are given the hard whack in the begining as a lesson to mature which I think is SO not the way to build someone up but my friend was very communicative and easy on the ears when I joined and since then I was so happy (I even got her own performed songs on my mobile as a gift from her)...I just couldnt bear to lose it and I tried and am still trying my utmost to maintain the relationship...I realized that she didnt want contact after the initial period so I stayed back and only made limited contact believing that as soon as she felt I was a good person she'd be less careful with me and more willing to open up to me...However she is still very quiet and only talks when I approach... She's a very bold and confident Woman... She has an MBA degree and has a hard hitting but warm and maternal personality...This is why I need her so much cos I have this illness and complete social isolation baring the fact that I am doing more and more better in my material dealings outside home... I am still a child who needs comfort and a hug and a pat on the cheek...I have stood in her shoes and stood apart realizing she too has her limitations and I need to respect them but the need to be with her and be nourished by her is very strong and formidable... I have good relations with my wife and I have made it my personal duty to support her but I think the person who can nourish me is my friend..If I am protected by her I can protect my family...