Just got a note from my ex girl friend. First time that I have heard from her in months. Not surprisingly she was very direct and very articulate in describing my betrayal of her. And, not surprisingly I really don't think she believes what I feel in my heart for her and how sorry that I am.

She has no idea the level of pain I am going through right now. Each and every single day is a struggle. Somedays I wonder how the hell I went down this road.

She said I should be lucky because another woman would of retaliated against me.

I am feeling so shamed and guilty I just can't do this any longer.