Its an awful feeling when other people don't understand you, don't understand your reactions. You don't want to offer up the excuse "I'm bipolar", even though it is such a simple answer. I have been struggling with this disorder for ten years. I don't have health insurance( I know i'm not the only one) so i really can't seek treatment. Plus the doctors always put me on anti-pyschotics and anxiety meds that are dangerous and addictive. I am seeking some type of holistic or homeopathic method to cope with what i am feeling. I am angry seventy five percent of the time and sad the other percent. It used to be reversed and i almost long for the sadness. My boyfriend doesn't understand why i fly of the handle, and my friends don't understand why i blow them off all the time. Work is totally taken aback by my irritability. This is destroying my life...Soon i won't have a job, my boyfriend won't be able to carry the load, and i think my friends have already given up(most of them). I tried drinking to ease the reality but that was a REALLY bad idea. I feel more alone now then i have for a very long time. I know that Seasonal affective has something to do with it, i also live in a very cold state...it snows for five months out of the year...I just dont want to feel like this anymore.