Hi earlynineties,
I can strongly relate to your experiences. Sadly, I think that most people who pick up on a weakness in another (such as sadness, loneliness or insecurity) will try to use it to their advantage. I have a problem with always trying too hard to please everyone at my own expense. I will even be nice to people who are a**holes to me. I can't help it, b/c I just always assume that everyone is like I am; that they are good people who wouldn't hurt a vulnerable person. Unfortunately, that isn't the case, & I can personally attest to that. Not everyone is like that, but most people are insecure & many will bully others & put them down to try to make themselves look superior. Pretty pathetic but true. The pattern I've found myself doing is that I'm too nice & let people walk all over me. At first, I don't even notice what they're doing b/c I give people the benefit of the doubt. But then they just get worse, & when I do realize what's happening, I internalize my anger & continue doing what they want. At some point, I will end up being passive-agressive or exploding, which makes me look like a Jekyl & Hyde, & people are perplexed by my reactions. What I've learned is that I can't control other people, I can only control myself. They aren't going to change, but if this is a pattern, then I have to change myself & stop people from doing things to me before it ever happens. I am working on boundaries. Also, I try to limit the personal info I let others know about me in every aspect of my life. I was told that people should always do that in a work environment. Some people can get away with chatting about their lives & be happy-go-lucky, but I'm better off not revealing much with my particular problems. Especially since people will target you if they know you're weak. So I suggest that, if you're co-workers are causing you stress due to social issues, try to just concentrate on doing your job well. Pretend you're really shy & use it as an excuse not to talk to them. Why would you want to, anyway, if they're being jerks?
Good luck.