We do not make diagnoses here, Dividebyzero, but you seem to be experiencing, possibly along with other things, some severe depressive symptoms. Have you obtained a therapist or seen a psychiatrist or even an MD with your symptoms, which you so ably, succinctly and knowledgably describe? I know each feeling that you describe, or at least, I know my version of it. Are you stopping or starting some medication which could account for the nightmares? Can you pinpoint some source for your nightmares and feelings? Your writing says that you are very intelligent, and, very often the super-intelligent also feel too sensitive to survive in the insenstate world. There is too much ugliness, insensitivity and commonness here for you to feel understood. That said, you may feel that you stand on the "edge" of the planet, about to plummet over into nothingness in your imagined solitude. Welcome to PC. Here, you will find camaraderie, support, intelligent companionship and empathy. I hope that you will use your talents as well as your experience with suffering to offer information and support to others here. WELCOME. billieJ