Dear Whoswho ~ I hear you, I hear you, I hear you!!!! I don't seem to have an "I'm full" mechanism which they say signals you to stop eating. Much like a horse, I could probably eat until I simply died of the bloat. What happened to my "I'm full" mechanism? Some say that stuffing down food is equivalent to stuffing down feelings or words that we are too anxious to express. ?? Some say it is the comfort of foods that make us overeat. Of course, eating in front of the tv or while reading is a no-no, and this I inevitably do - always have. My blessed mother was a healthy eater but amply provided sweets for the family, thinking of this as love. I took to it quite readily and still have not fully accepted the link between the beloved sugar and the consequential acne. Exercise is near impossible, due to the anergia of depression and a back injury. I feel more in control when I eat nothing, too, and I can go from one extreme to the other. I wonder if there is such a thing as a bipolar eating disorder? hmmmmm. When eating nothing, I lose my appetite in a few days but have to take to my bed for lack of energy. Eventually, visions of dying as a bag of bones forces me to the refrigerator. A taste of the right food triggers me to finish up everything edible within reach. Then comes the guilt. You have friends and kin here at PC. I hope to hear more from you. I know about hopelessness, but I cannot rid myself of the determined thought that both you and I have some reason to be here - to go through this. In sincere friendship - billieJ
P. S. I hated gym, too. Hated it!