</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
vanna123 said:
Hi--
I come into the forum almost everyday and read thru most of the posts and am really touched by all the love and concern shown to everyone here.
There are many times I would like to respond but I don't know what to say.
I used to be in a support group but finally left because I never knew what to say.
When family and friends gather and have conversations I usually get left out because I don't know what to say.
I don't have as much difficulty if it is something where I can offer some logical advice or information about something but to give support i am a failure.
How do you know what to say and how do you learn to feel comfortable giving and receiving support, concern, care, love, wahtever?
Even writing this post makes me feel stupid. why cause I don't know what to say without sounding stupid.
I do read people's posts and I am a caring person it is just that I don't know what to say.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">vanna123,

Like Ozzie said for some it comes naturally as a gift of gab. For others it isn't natural and takes practice.

It would seem normal to us that we all feel awkward at times when offering support....especially through this online medium when when do not really know the other person well or at all! That doesn't make the support any less sincere.

We don't think you are a failure as you wrote when it comes to giving support. We'd guess that time and practice (seems like we're saying that a bunch lately) could help with becoming more comfortable giving and receiving support.

These forums are a good place to practice. Reading what others write in response can give us ideas of how support is offered. There are many ways to offer support so keep an open mind to things that may feel silly or feel stupid.

Often the littlest thing we might have written in passing can be the gem to another reader.

Sometimes just saying the exact truth of "I don't know what to say but want to be supportive" can be perfect.

Good post vanna123 as it can help us show different ways of support and let us talk about how many of us often don't know what to say and feel dorky with what we write.

__zh raises hand as fellow dunno-what-to-say-and-feeling-dorky-about-it person!

kindly,