How are you doing today?
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After the meeting he said if I left him for good, I might hear one day that he died in his apartment because he doesn't want to be without me.... how nice it would be if he and I exited this world together
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Saying such things is itself abusive.
If you live with him, you will live in fear. That's one of the hallmarks of abuse: the abuser might be nice at times but there is always the threat that he might get vicious and cruel suddenly.
You mentioned that you've had domestic violence counseling. Have you had individual psychotherapy as well?
I'm so sorry that he is not leaving you alone. My heart aches for all that you've suffered.