I've realised that this is what I am trying to do.
I'm trying to blot out my pain, ignore it. I have a great range of diversion tactics. My question is, should I be doing this or should I be working more on facing up to stuff? My counsellor has told me to focus only on positive memories for now, take a break, enjoy my holiday (we go on Thursday). My dr told me to take it easy for a bit. I know I have "seen" a lot of stuff that I had buried for ages, or even not known was there. But I am scared. I'm scared because I know I onlly have 5 counselling sessions left now (i'm in UK... let's just say things are "different!") and I want to make the best use of them I can. I'm scared because I am very critical of myself and I wonder whether I am just running away from stuff. I'm scared because in less than three weeks i will be back at work (I teach) and I don't feel remotely ready for that...
Anyone got any suggestions?
Caroline