Lots of wisdom and "tough love" in all these replies. Things we should have done years ago.... AJ knows what it is like to hit "rock bottom"... I think he is doing what he is doing is because "he can".. Which in turn means it is our fault, the parents........We let him.. Now is the time to "stop" letting him.......

I would like to add I did not come here to cuddle AJ or pick up the pieces...I don't pamper him or buy him things or give him money....When the smoke cleared I've realized that my being here has been a good thing....I got to plant "gardens" and "paint".... Because of my being here the "drinking parties" have stopped... We don't have l0 cars parked in front of the house which means "his friends don't hang out here anymore. A few friends still drop by now and again, but nothing like when I first arrived here.... Good thing is AJ is actively seeking employment.... He now only goes to clubs once or twice, if that, a month....He rarely drinks anymore... Although he still drinks, more than I think he should, but a whole lot less than had been drinking....Not every night like he did when I came here in June.....

There have been good things....and there has been not so good things...There is still hope.......Although AJ still does "stupid" things, I believe in him.. He just needs to believe in himself........Am not sure how he will get to work since he license is suspended.... Not sure if all he needs to do is pay the fines to have his license reinstated......Guess take it all a step at a time....The most important thing now is the "job" search... and finding full time work........

Hope when I read this again that I don't sound all wishy washy....Last thing I want to be is wishy washy.......All the sound advice opened my eyes and made me see how easy we were on AJ......What a mistake we made! Now is the time to move forward and expect AJ to carry his own weight...