a lot of things are going wrong in my life. my relationship really blows. it's very very very complicated. my boyfriend was using steroids when i first met him and i made him stop, but it totally screwed him up sexually. he ended up having erectile dysfunction for little over 2 years. we've been together for 3 years and we live together. it has really affected me psychologically. today he is somewhat better but not quite. he rarely ever initiates sex. it's always me. then when i ask him to have sex i practically have to beg and cry because he usually says no or he's busy. i feel like he doesn't have normal testosterone levels but he is seeing a sexual therapist who has been treating him and according to the doc things are much better than before. but he doesn't show me that he wants intimately and that bothers me. it makes me feel extremely insecure and needy. i'm so sick and tired of dealing with this at such a young age. we are both only in our 20's. i feel like i never even got to experience the "honeymoon" stage of dating where couples have tons of sex because his sexual dysfunction started about 3 months into the relationship. we constantly fight about the same thing...sex. he thinks i'm a sexoholic because i flip out and get really really...and i mean really....angry whenever he says no to me in regards to sex. i've tried playing hard to get and teaching him "lessons" by not asking or giving in to sex, but that doesn't do me any good at all because he can hold out for months!!! one time he held out for about 2 months!!! to me that's definitely not normal. he doesn't even get a hard on when we are dancing at a club. i hate to leave someone of 3 years just because of the sexual problem, but i am at the end of the rope here. i feel like i'm already dead being in a near sexless relationship and trust me....i've had this conversation with him over and over and over again. i told him that i am definitely not a sex maniac. i am a normal young girl who likes to have sex and be intimate with my partner. but he tries to make me feel like i'm not normal. when we do have sex it's nice...i mean it could be better, but i always compromise. i'm sick of compromising. i feel like if we were to get married, i would cheat on him or we would end up getting a divorce. i've already cheated in the relationship because i felt so alone and i just needed that sexual attention that i was lacking with him. i told him about it and strangely enough...he was mad but not that mad. in fact..the next day we were talking again. i thought that was strange because i would've been pissed off if the shoe was on the other foot. i'm not a bad person, even though i made a stupid choice of cheating. i'm just a lonely and sensitive girl that needs intimacy in my life. i asked him if he was gay and he said no over and over again. i asked him if he was cheating and he said no over and over again. so i have no other choice than to just believe that h still and always will have a sexual dysfunction and no medicine will ever work. when i cry because he hurts my feelings after turning me down he turns it into a sympathy party by saying ok fine i'll have sex with you. and of course i'm thinking "fine?!" what the hell does that mean?? i don't want him to feel obligated or forced to have sex with me. i don't even ask for it everyday. i just don't know what to do anymore because he has every other quality that i want in a man. it's hard to let that go simply because someone doesn't want to have sex with you. he always uses the same excuse that he's busy or he's studying and i do honestly give him his time and space to study but not when he consistently uses the same excuse as a shield to protect himself from me. when he wants to have sex, which is rare, suddenly i'm suppose to be ready willing and able, and god forbid i make any type of request. on a good week we have sex about twice a week but that's only because i have to force him. am i being unreasonable? am i a sex maniac? i don't literally want to have sex everyday of the week, but i at least want the feeling...to know that he wants to everyday..i want to know that if i was to ask him right now, that he would say yes...or if i was to touch him in a sexual way, that he would say yes you turn me on, not eww get away from me.