No, the reality is that I can finally see that she sees me for waht I really am. You are judged not by waht you say, but what you do. It's easy for all of you on the board to say what a great guy I am. But, she knew me for the actions that I took. Actions, that were the most heinous and vile one could imagine. Maybe it is a good thing that she sent that letter and I could read through someone else's eyes the reality of what I really am.

I know that this sounds like I am throwing in the towel. That it is a pity party once again. But, I am just being a realist.

I also wrote her friends a letter to tell them how sorry I was for what I had done. She finds out about this and furhter rips me apart, claiming more lies and deception. I laid everything out in those letters and this is what I get back.

I swear to God I don't know where I went wrong and I am so very, very sorry for it. But, there is nothing I can do now. Nothing.