Usually when I'm upset, I write in my journal. I don't usually remember what I wrote and I will at times go back, read, analyze, and try to figure out what was going on inside me at the time. I have recently done this and I have a journal entry I can not decipher. Can anyone please try to read into this and tell me what they see?????
Rusty got off work and the first thing he did was start griping about what was on t.v. no hello, how was your day, no kiss or hug hello, nothing, just griping. Ruined my appitite. Went to bedroom, spent a few hours looking for something to watch. Gave him the living room t.v finally found fox news and got thirty minutes into it. Then he wanted to play poker online. T.v. in bedroom hooked to internet so i gave up, went to sleep. woke up around 4 a.m. was going to play games online since he was asleep. computer was messed up. spent 2 hours fixing it, had adware, viruses, malware, and tracking cookies from "adult" sites. mentioned it to rusty after he woke up. he stomped his feet and started yelling, guess i'll shut up and just start fixing it and not saying anything. finally asked for a hug around 8 a.m. tuned into a griping match again. his interest is else wear. Guess I'm just a big nothing unless he's wanting to get laid. I feel like a worthless piece of crap , no one cares. I feel I'm a mistake and should never have been born.