Quote:
Originally Posted by wpowers
Ok fellow DIDers .... since starting therapy again in July, I have made a lot of progress with breaking down the walls to my alters. It has been hard as you all know, but I am also getting the benefits as host in knowing what they are keeping secret and how I can work through past trauma pain.
One thing that I am finding rather odd though is that sometimes after very big events such as last week, well once I am calmed down on the inside and everyone is happy again for the most part, I have had a couple of times when I feel something odd in my brain like electric shock that is very intense and sudden. It does not hurt - it is just like being zapped. I have never had ECT so it is not related to anything like that. And when it happens, it is almost like a very sudden clarity. Kinda feels like I am suddenly just one person and the house is silent.
The sensation even lasts for a day or so afterwards. It happened last night and I thought it was odd because my two littles were talking about joining together like the wonder twins! LOL. I was teasing them and asking them how they came up with that idea and they just said it sounded like a good idea. I really don't want to lose them. Esp the Little One who is 8. Well I was saying I had not heard them at all this AM but way far away I just hear her say "I'm still here" .... so that made me smile a bit. I do want health though.
Anyone else have any experiences like this?
Thanks! 
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are you on any medications? starting or stopping or missing doses? withdrawing from or missing medication dosages were the only times I ever experienced brain zaps. integration of my alters and memories that my alters had for me never included brain zaps. or any other physical pain within my brain. sometimes I experienced the pain of what was in the body memories but even that didn't happen very often and not to any degree that caused me any major concern afterwards. I don't know how detailed I can get here on this site so I'm going to just write and mods help wording might be needed here.
one integration of one alter was my alter Alex (short for Alexandria). during therapy one day my therapist and I broke through to alex and her memories. my therapist and I were talking about my having to be nice to my brothers friends. let them touch me, my brother got a few bucks. up until that day in therapy thats all I thought it was. but while talking about this I apparently kept switching to alex in the middle of sentences. my therapist recognized this and would hit the rewind button. she would back our conversation up to the point just before where I switched and start again from there. it ended up stretching our one hour session into a 3 hour session. She kept reenforcig the need to stay grounded each time. slowly we worked our way through and at one point it was like someone just opened a window because suddenly I knew what my brothers and his friends had done was much more than touching heres a few bucks. for a few minutes I felt as if it was happening right then. my mouth felt like it had been stretched beyond repair, there was an awful taste in my mouth. I felt the pain of other parts of my body too. this only lasted a few minutes because my therapist was there the whole time and kept reminding me that what I was feeling was just left over body memories and to focus on her and the ice cube she handed me. Having her voice and the ice cube in my hand I was able to go past the body memories and say to her Alex is me and that happened to me didnt it. and my therapist said you tell me are you alex or amandalouise or both. and did those things happen to alex or amanda louise or both. I told her it happened to both of us because alex is me and so is amandalouise. it was a bit strange the next few days knowing what my brother and his friends had done to me but there wasnt any more body memories. there was just a knowing what happened and knowing that it happened to me and knowing alex and I were now together as one.