welcome.......and boy oh boy....i remember feeling just as you do now when i realized that i have ocd.....that was many years ago....i just want you to know that there are excellent ways to help it whether it be therapy meds or a combo of both....i was on prozac for over ten years and about 90% of my symptoms went away.....about six months ago i decided to wean myself off the med cause some of the side affects were really bothering me....some symptoms have returned so right now i am trying to weigh my options to medicate again or live with the ocd....i'd be glad to chat with you about this and help you in any way that i can.....