getting depressed. duh. that's what happens when you go off your meds (although, there was always the possibility that it wouldn't happen, but whatevs. science experiment over).

so i know i need to see austin-t.
and pdoc.
and get back onto meds.

but i dont want to see any of them. and i can't remember what dose i was on to just go back on meds myself.

maybe i can ask my pharmacist. but he will get upset and call pdoc.

i dont know why i withdraw when things get tough. i know i'm dreading seeing austin-t, because it means i have only difficult conversations to look forward to, and difficult commitments to follow through on. i dont want any of that.

but pdoc is safer, and all i need is my correct dose again.
*grouch grouch grouch*

i wonder why i'm feeling so rotten.

anyone else out there wanting to join the self-defeatist club?