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Old Jan 13, 2010, 07:44 AM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 7,326
...when you wake up glad that you're one day closer to death.

I am feeling so defeated at the moment. I hate when I feel this way. I just want to close myself off to the world and wish it would just end.

My T said that he feels that the things I'm currently enduring are a result of improved health. Yet it feels so awful. And today, I just simply cannot face life.

I am too upset. Too depressed. In too much pain. Too unhappy.

I can't deal with this migraine and face an abusive boss, an unrelenting ex, and feel this miserable sinking feeling about my life overall....I don't want to.

I know people can say that it will get better...or that I can change my perspective and be more hopeful. I guess I just don't know how at the moment....I feel so awful.

I am considering canceling my session with T tomorrow. I know people would recommend that I not do that, and that it's times like this that a session would be helpful...Heck, it's what I'd recommend to others! But I just don't want to. I don't feel up to it. I don't want to face life, let alone T.

I know this too shall pass. These feelings will pass. But at the moment, it's where I am. And it's an awful place.
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