I have disturbing thoughts a lot that are things I think about but would not in reality do. They are very upsetting and sometimes they are incredibly bad, bad things. My pdoc says they are a part of ocd (compulsive thoughts). I also have an extremely overactive imagination that I think plays into this. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm bipolar so I already deal with racing thoughts. Perhaps this is your problem? Maybe you could talk to your doc about them?