((torn777))

I am sorry I can understand how you're feeling inside ~ you described the experience well.

I think that it takes time and some general sense of self before you can tell whether or not your relationship should be over. While your bf denies cheating and claims needing a boost of ego to be the culprit, it is pointing out the fact that your bf needs others to make him feel good. You, getting back together with your ex, will not change your bf's general terms. And that does put you at risk for another heartache down the road.

I hate to be the bearer of such bad news (really! ), but you both should work with a couple's counselor if you're really interested in re-developing your relationship. Otherwise, chances are very good that his past behavior/s will come out again.

That said, give yourself some time. Time to become comfortable with just yourself. You don't need to be with someone to be happy. You can fill that void with activities that you enjoy. Things that you always wanted to do or try ~ go for it! Get to know that you will be okay without the bf. You will make it just fine. Once you've come to terms with who you are, and have gained some self-fulfillment, then you can try another relationship.

btw- It can take awhile to regain your sense of self. Be patient and try lots of different activities/interests to keep you going.

Best wishes!