Hi Formetosee!

Ouch – this sounds like me talking….but Im a guy!! You have my complete and utter sympathy!

A few of your points really struck a chord with me:

“am i being unreasonable?” –- absolutely not!!!

“I've tried playing hard to get and teaching him "lessons" by not asking or giving in to sex” – ouch! – that hurts when that one doesn’t work!……it just confirms that they really are NOT bothered at all!

“I flip out and get really really...and i mean really....angry” – -if we feel our feelings and emotional needs are not shared or acknowledged by our partners, then this will naturally breed resentment. We can only cope with that for so long until it boils over as anger.

“Im sick of compromising” –- we know compromise is part of every relationship, but it needs to be mutual - when its so one sided, you are bound to feel asif you are not being true to yourself, fuelling further resentment

“ok fine i'll have sex with you” –- Yuk, no-one wants ‘pitty sex’!! That’s not the point at all is it??

And lastly…
“on a good week we have sex about twice a week” – I should be so lucky!!

Honestly, I hope you find a way forward…therapy together or whatever it takes, but maybe…it might mean having the strength to recognise that this may not be the relationship for the rest of your life. You’ve talked about this plenty…can he not see how unhappy its making you???

But only you can come to such decisions.

You are indeed still young – please don’t wait another twenty odd years like me just to end up feeling just as resentful and having to be on antidepressants to kill off all your own feelings…that’s no answer, as I know too well!

So best wishes & I hope you find happiness.

MattC

(why oh why oh why….the worlds full of women not happy with their men…and men not happy with their women….whats that all about???)