Welcome to PC Simply Orange. The first post is always the hardest but please no worries about being embarrased here. Everyone is so supportive all the time it's wonderful. I'm sorry you're feeling down. The negative thoughts are tough. DO you see a therapist (T)? My old T helped me a lot with my negative thinking and since then I have got online and completed some online self-help modules for it. It does help. It doesn't stop the negative thinking but it does help me change the way I react to my thinking. Just wondering what your experience with that is. There's a wonderful free program online through Australia but I found it to be great. It's called MoodGym (moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome). Hope you get to feeling better soon... in the mean tme post away... no worries. Welcome again!!!!