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Jan 13, 2010, 07:34 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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(((((Peaches)))))
It sounds like those voices in your head that you hear telling you "it wasn't that bad" among other messages you get inside and lead to guilt and more pain and anger, could possibly be those old messages that your parents programmed you with when you were young.
You have a right to be angry!! Being angry with your parent's behaviors and the hurt that they have left you with DOES NOT equal being a bad daughter. Yes, the Bible says to "Honor thy Mother and thy Father", but it also states throughout the Bible to honor thy children and treat them with love, and it also states that parents should be vigilant over their children and protect them from harm.
What I have learned about anger is that it is often a secondary emotion. Meaning it is utilized by the psyche as a coping mechanism to cover up the initial emotions that are to uncomfortable for the spirit to sit with. Feelings like hurt, disgust, guilt, shame, and fear.
You were not cared for appropriately as a child. This is very scary and painful for the soul. The goal is to process the pain and move through it in healing, however, if you never process the pain, it does turn to anger, and then, like what it sounds like here, one turns that anger against themselves internally and becomes angry at themselves for being angry and this leads to more shame, guilt, pain, and ultimately results in deeper depression.
You have a divine right to free yourself of these burdens...which were never your burdens to begin with.
Talk with T. Take it slow and release yourself from this misery.
It was never your fault...or your responsibility. It was theirs. 
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