(((googley)))

First of all T will not be angry with you for not having money for sessions. That is for sure, so you can just put that worry aside. Second of all you are carrying all the sadness about your grandpa in addition to your usual stress and load. And also, just the stress of reuniting with T would be enough to throw me over the edge. So why not do just what you suggested,and write all these things down that you need to deal with and ask T to hold onto the list for you. Then, spend the session getting stabilized in the T relationship so you can access it if you need when you have to travel. I remember one session when I was feeling extremely overloaded and it was following a lot of stuff including a rupture with T. I walked in and sat down and said that I just needed to experience us. And for a while we just sat there. And then we talked about things, normal everyday things. And we reconnected, and it didn't matter that I didn't have the chance to tell him everything that felt wrong in my world, because I knew he was there for me.

I am so sorry about your grandpa's illness.