I wish it was me saying this out of boredom. Your right this is coming very bad. Youre talking to the "victory at any costs kind of person" I would seek to win at any costs. I have had a very hard life, I've been cheated on, betrayed, disgraced, humilated and ive done this to other people. Anyway i might have abadonment issue. My best friend for 7 years had abadoned me. No talking, no calls, no hanging out ever. After all of my efforts he still would not talk to me. It devastated by the damage I have done to her. I do want to know what hurt her. Apparently i threatened her. I dont want her thinking that i am some pathetic ***** who cant hold a threat. Mainly because it is not true. I could of ruined her life, but at what me ruining mine. I am a vengeful person at times. You know what i can be a kind thoughtful person to. YOU Know what the Head T said to me. My T wants to go back to work with me. She actually asked when i would go back in the good way. As in she wants to work this out with me after i pretty much tore her to pieces. Why? I feel horrible about what i did but i would rather have her attack me. I have problems with attacking people. I am much more like a "overwhelming retaliation of force" kind of person. But i might feel like having a personal relationship with my T. I want to know about her. I want for her to care for me. Sue me for wanting to have a beautiful sexy kind woman care for me. I know this isnt the way to go around it. Its like the "You want the oppisite after what you have done"