My t has said that if someone really wants to kill themselves, there's really not a thing he can do to stop it. He says if I knew how, I could kill myself before he could get across the room to stop me. Sounds pretty harsh, but the point is, this is a choice. Your t is not going to fawn over you because that gives you attention in a very unhealthy way. That sounds harsh, and I don't mean to be hurtful, but I've been there. I'm just sharing what I've learned from going through the exact same thing. You say you wanted to die, but hey, I've been in your shoes many times, and the truth is, I didn't want to die. I just wanted relief. I just wanted to escape. You said that yourself in an earlier post. Your t knows that too. That doesn't mean this isn't serious. It's very serious to feel that helpless and hopeless.

Your t is not being dismissive or uncaring. She is getting you back to reality. Trust me, she's concerned and she's working things very carefully with you. You don't understand that right now, but you will some day.

If you are under the care of a psychiatrist, you also need to give that doctor a call. Clearly something isn't right here. If you don't have a psychiatrist, it's time to get one and get some medical management of this. I hope things are getting better for you. Don't be afraid to ask your t about her feelings toward you. She'll be straight with you.