Believe it or not, at the point, I really did want to die. Part of me even now still does. I had something happen that made me genuinely want to end my life. There's no question about it. At this point, it was more than just about relief. It was about my life not being worth living anymore. That's why I tried. I cut for relief...I don't attempt suicide for relief. I'm not looking for attention in the least. If I was looking for attention, she wouldn't have had to pry the information out of me. I was very much in touch with reality, as I still am. I know that it's my choice, and I know that no one can stop me. If I had done it right, no one would have known until my mom came home from work at 8pm. I would have been dead for almost 20 hours at that point. Again, had I not screwed it up. Everything would have been a lot easier had I not screwed it up...

I have a psychiatrist, and I've been unable to see her over the holidays, because she works at the college that I attend, so she's been off over our break. I'm seeing her next week, and I'm sure we will discuss everything.