(((((Blue))))),

I can relate. I would rather think of myself as "messed up" than thinking maybe my parents "goofed up." Feeling sad and hurt and why did they act that way? I know what you mean. For me, more my Dad than my Mom, but we protect our parents, or act numb. My Dad hurt me, but not intentionally I don't think. Is it here or in Peaches' thread about not blaming parents, but feeling angry and hurt for what they did or did not to?

Sorry I'm in a hurry and haven't read the other posts, but wanted to know I "get" what you're feeling. Ftt will help you; hang in there!