Hi hurtandconfused, welcome to PC. It sounds like, at least for right now, your husband is having trouble with alcohol. I would strongly suggest you go to Alanon meetings and research all you can on alcoholism and codependcy. He may not be a "real" alcoholic, but his drinking too much isn't helping him with any of his problems right now. He needs to understand that. Couples counseling would be great IF you can get him to go. If not, go to counseling by yourself along with alanon meetings.
It's not your fault he's unhappy and drinking too much. And if you try to control his drinking you will only make things worse for yourself. His problems are his. They have nothing to do with how you look, what you are or are not doing, etc. etc. He needs to get help for himself. You can't do it for him. YOU can't make him any more happy than on the happiest day he has had with you in the past. Alanon and therapy would be a very big help to YOU and help you understand that you are not his problem. He is.
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