MUE, I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I know the place you are in, I've been there so many times. Just wanting to hide from the world, and for me a lot of that comes back to not wanting to be hurt or abandoned again. When I am in that place I withdraw from everyone and everything, as a defense mechanism.
I'm glad you are still posting here and I hope you'll continue to do so even if you don't feel like it. You're important here.