I hate it when I can feel myself slipping down like that, and can't stop it, just feel it happening and feel myself going lower and lower....I wish I had the answer for you. For me. For all of us. I'd just say keep talking about it, keep talking here, go and talk to T if you can, even if you have to force yourself. It's the only thing that's worked for me. Looking at the pattern of my life, and knowing that if I keep doing the same thing I'll keep getting the same results, and so trying to do things differently now. It has helped me, not that I don't get to that bad place, but I get there less often and maybe don't stay there as long. Certainly I'm not trying to kill myself every other week anymore, so something has changed for the better.
I wonder if you look back at your life, and I'm sorry but I don't know your history and haven't looked back at your posts or anything, but I wonder if you can see a similar trend? And maybe you can hang onto that, and keep doing the NEW things that you've done that have helped? Like T, for one...?